The 100

100 Things

There was recently a note going around the world of Facebook, requesting individuals to write down 25 “random” things about themselves. I obliged, but it got me to thinking about all the things we have to say about ourselves. In reality, I believe we each have many unique and interesting facets to our lives. Why limit a list about you to only twenty five? So, I’ve come up with 100 random, but true, things about me. I hope you’re sitting down—this might take a while.

1 I love a good sale and am a sucker for price reduction. I get really excited about paying a fraction of the cost for something, anything, fabulous.
2 Getting married to Adam was, in my opinion, the best decision I’ve ever made in my life. I can’t imagine my life without him.
3 I’m horrible at good-byes and ending conversations. I love to talk, but have a hard time figuring out when it’s appropriate to depart or stop talking.
4 At any given moment, there is always a wide variety of fresh fruit in my refrigerator.
5 I’ve never eaten brussel sprouts or chicken wings. I plan to die without experiencing either.
6 I am one of four children. There is a 16 year age gap between my oldest and youngest sibling.
7 I’m horrible at taking care of my hands and nails. I have ugly, raggedy-looking nails and dry, cracked hands. To me, a manicure is a pure waste of money.
8 I love vintage and vintage-looking jewelry. I love the quality and look of something old, even if it really isn’t. I also love that old things have a story to tell—even if I have to make it up.
9 I want to be the editor of a fashion magazine when I grow up. I love the thought of writing about fashion, attending shows and having access to the coolest new stuff.
10 I’d be lost without my dog. I think she’s great, even when she wakes me up in the middle of the night by whining until I pet her.
11 There’s nothing better than the excitement of having something new. I just love admiring and owning something that’s new—it’s one of the best feelings on earth.
12 I’m a terrible cook. I’m not patient and organized enough to be a skilled chef, which is why I married one.
13 I don’t like sports. I don’t care enough to understand or become interested in the world of sports. I mostly oblige because my husband has a love affair with all sporting events.
14 I’m extremely annoyed by people who use incorrect grammar when they speak. I often hold myself back from correcting them, but cannot resist my urge to cringe.
15 I’m always multi-tasking, but I’m not very good at it. I’m very easily distracted and incredibly forgetful.
16 I try on a minimum of five outfits every morning before work. Depending on my mood, things can get ugly in my search to find an outfit.
17 I never eat 3 square meals a day. I don’t like to be tied down by real meals that don’t include a bowl of cereal.
18 Although I realize their stupidity, I am a sucker for sleazy reality shows. I watch many, many of these shows; more than I’d like to admit.
19 As a child, I wished for nothing more in life than my own dog. At age eight, I got a little brother instead.
20 My hair is the true bane of my existence. It’s thick, curly and mostly frizzy on a good day. We’ve always had a love-hate relationship.
21 I can’t live without crazy shoes. Bright colors, obnoxious patterns and pointy toes are just a few of my favorite things.
22 I rarely wear bracelets, mostly because they are too big to fit around my ridiculously small and bony wrists.
23 I was a lanky, awkward late-bloomer with crooked teeth as a child.
24 I didn’t have my first kiss until high school. (See #23.)
25 Writing is, and will always be, my life’s passion.
26 I feel sorry for people who don’t run. I think they’re missing out on something great.
27 My biggest fashion splurge: a black pebbled leather, full-price Coach bag. My greatest fashion steal: a Kenneth Cole men’s watch from DSW for less than $40. Both play a starring role in my daily life.
28 Before I met Adam, I never hit the snooze button. Now, I’m a two snoozer every morning.
29 My biggest work-related pet peeve: people who call me instead of walking down the hall to talk to me. Seriously, would it kill you to walk 10 yards?
30 I’m very critical of others, but only behind their backs.
31 I would be late to just about everything without the aid of my cell phone calendar and audible reminders.
32 I cannot control myself around snack foods. I once I start eating them, I can’t stop—so I usually don’t even start.
33 I can’t sleep unless the closet door and all drawers in my bedroom have been closed.
34 I’m still afraid of the dark, even in my own home.
35 My favorite part of the weekend is drinking coffee.
36 I hate talking politics, but I believe abortion and the death penalty are wrong. I think if you want to own a gun and you’re a responsible person, you should. I believe the sheer greed of wealthy people has led us down this horrible economic path.
37 I always feel guilty spending a lot of money on something, even if it’s worth it.
38 I can’t wait to see what my blue-eyed, blonde-haired children will really look like. I can’t wait to kiss them goodnight and teach them everything I know.
39 I have a really small mouth. As a child, the dentist pulled out several of my teeth because there wasn’t enough room in there for all of them.
40 I could happily live the rest of my life eating the exact same thing every day.
41 I have no intention of ever owning one, but anything that involves cats is absolutely hilarious to me.
42 The only way I can fall is asleep is by laying on my right side, curled into the fetal position. I can’t sleep with pants on; they are just too restricting.
43 I hate mornings and despise getting up early. Coffee is really the only redeeming quality the morning has to offer. (See #35)
44 I didn’t really enjoy high school, but I loved college.
45 I’ve never broken a bone, but I have received a black eye after falling off my bunk bed in college.
46 I carry the stress of the world in my hands and mouth. When I’m under a lot of pressure, the joints in my hands ache like nobody’s business and my mouth blooms with canker sores.
47 Like my mother, I always root for the underdog. I love a good story of someone prevailing over adversity.
48 Like my father, I’m fascinated with the story behind everything. I love hearing about a great journey or fascinating tale; I love the history behind things.
49 I don’t like milk and never drink it. I opt for soy milk instead, but only in my cereal.
50 I eat 6 hardboiled egg whites every day. People at work think I’m crazy.
51 If I don’t have a pack of gum in my purse at all times, I start to panic.
52 I own two cell phones, which I find incredibly annoying.
53 The first time Adam came to visit me in college, he got a speeding ticket because I gave him the wrong directions.
54 I refuse to give up my cell phone’s “Cincinnati number,” even though I’ve lived in Sidney for 3 years.
55 I believe DVR is the world’s greatest invention. I’d marry it if I could.
56 When I like a song, I listen to it over and over again until I no longer like it.
57 People who brag about how much things cost annoy me. We all buy things and spend money, why tell everyone about it?
58 I think astronomy is a crock, but I’m a Leo through and through—from my mane of hair to my intense love of attention.
59Before I was born my parents couldn’t agree on a name for me, so they made a bet. If I weighed less than 8 pounds, I’d be Emily. If I was over, I’d be Jessica. Emily, my mother has always said, is a name for someone who’s tiny.
60 I have a lot of freckles, many in strange places. I have one on the palm of my right hand and two on the bottom of my left foot.
61 I scrunch my nose when I laugh.
62 When I’m nervous or stressed, I chew on my lips.
63 I love sarcasm—it’s the spice of my life.
64 I’m a collector of inspirational quotes. My screensaver is always a scrolling quote, which I change each week.
65 I think Wally Lamb is the greatest writer the world has ever known.
66 I’ve always wanted to get a tattoo, but felt I needed a good reason to do so. When my grandfather died, I found my reason.
67 I’m not a big fan of reading directions, which always leads to frustration.
68 I sometimes wonder if retirement is going to be really, really boring.
69 Life, I believe, is all about perspective. Changing your thinking can change your world.
70 No matter how many times I clean and organize my office at work, it never stays that way. At home, everything is neat and organized in its proper place.
71 Much like Pavlov’s dog, I’ve become accustomed to eating fruit and protein every 3 hours. I begin a slow decline into insanity when my schedule is interrupted.
72 I really, really love my job and look forward to coming to work every day.
73 I’ve always believed that a smile and being polite can take you far.
74 When I’m talking to someone with bad teeth, it’s all I can look at during the entire conversation.
75 I’ve always been jealous of creative people who can make things. I can describe and paint you a pretty picture with words, but I can’t make squat.
76 I will never carry a small purse—ever. I need a gigantic purse to hold everything at all times.
77 I’m a rule follower through and through. I don’t like breaking rules or being part of something that doesn’t follow them. It makes me really nervous.
78 Though I have no intention of ever moving back, I’ll always feel like I left a piece of my heart in Cincinnati.
79 I’m very impatient. When I get it in my head that I want something, I have a hard time waiting around for it to happen.
80 I’ve run three half marathons and collectively, they were the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I don’t think I could ever run a full marathon.
81 I hate being stagnant. In all aspects of my life, I have an inherent need to always be working towards something specific.
82 There was a time in my life when I wasn’t happy unless I was tan. Now, I regret all the sun exposure and curse my horrible decision every time I visit the dermatologist.
83 I ask a lot of questions about everything, especially during movies and Daylight Savings Time.
84 I am a maniac behind the wheel of a car. Once the engine starts, I’m a raging lunatic. Outside of the hunk of metal, I’m really quite meek.
85 I have very realistic, very strange dreams every night that I remember almost every morning when I wake up.
86 It’s taken me 25 years to realize that the people who have the most “stuff” aren’t always the people with the most happiness.
87 I believe the creative genius behind the Target Corporation is just that—a genius.
88Mice and snakes don’t scare me, but spiders and heights do.
89 I’m always in a rush, regardless of whether it’s warranted or not.
90 I’ve never been athletic or good at sports, but have an intense love of physical activity now that I’m an adult.
91 If I could only wear one color for the rest of my life, it would be black.
92 I’m supposed to wear glasses when I drive, but I rarely do. It hasn’t caused any problems—yet.
93 I think secretaries are the most under-paid and under-appreciated employees in the world.
94 I never notice someone’s eye color, but I always know what their hands look like. In a hand lineup, I could easily identify you.
95 In college, I chipped my right front tooth on a beer bottle; I told my parents I was drinking Snapple. I’ve had a cap on that tooth ever since.
96 Gin and tonic is, and will always be, my very favorite drink.
97 I like talking about myself, but hate being asked pointed personal questions in a public arena. I find it incredibly offensive.
98 I love dressing up, even when it’s not appropriate. If I had my way, I’d always be in high heels and something fabulous and completely un-casual.
99 I’ve always been incredibly nosy and interested in being in the middle of everything. In first grade, my teacher told my parents that I need to learn how to mind my own business. You could say PR was a calling.
100 I’m not a big fan of candy, but every fall I become completely obsessed with candy corn. I consume many bags, and then retreat to a candy-free life when winter rolls around.

Thanks for the memories

Someone broke into our house today.

Our home, the place where we feel safe.

In broad daylight.

They kicked in the back door and walked right into the place we call home.

They took their time, looking through our lives and touching our things.

They opened doors, walked into the place where I sleep every night and began taking what they deemed to be valuable.

What was junk, they let me keep.

Then, they left it just as they found it.

I am, for lack of a more eloquent term, pissed. I can't say that what they took from me was of any significant value in the end, but it's the principle of the concept that has me angry. How dare you destroy my property, come into my home and take things from me? I wonder if, when they pawn off the antique jewelry and things that I cannot replace, they know how old and precious they were to me. I'd question if they look into the eyes of the woman in that antique locket as they shoved it into a pocket or rubbed a finger over her initials carefully engraved into the back. Or, if they lovingly spun that big green stone ring around their finger like I did as they wait for the pawn shop to assess its value. Surely they'll know that diamond heart necklace was a gift from my husband on our first Valentine's Day together.

When it was all over, did they walk home wondering how much money they'd get for what they had taken? I wonder if they looked around for someone who might have seen them. Were they nervous? Did they yell at my sweet dog as she barked her heart out at them in her cage? Did they think they'd get caught? Did they watch me pull out of the driveway this morning, waiting for me to leave so they could arrive?

The Sheriff's deputy told me who they suspected entered our home. Suspected who entered our neighbor's home and did the same thing to him last week. Gave me their names. Showed me where they live, just on the other side of the field behind our home. Told me how they probably did it in between their stints in the County jail. Then, told me they couldn't pin anything on them. Said they were "kids in their twenties."

I couldn't help but notice the irony. I'm a kid too, also in my twenties--with a real job and aspirations and the decency to respect the property of others. I wonder if those idiot pieces of crap and I have anything else in common.

%$#&%@*(%&@#(!

A few Wednesdays ago was Ash Wednesday, the first day of Lent. As a general rule, this is a time of deep reflection, piety and servitude. Or, giving up cookies and everything that is great about the top portion of the food pyramid.

Growing up, for me it was a time to give up something that I really liked until I had that thing in front of me. Then, I’d find something else to give up. I’d proclaim I was giving up cookies until the Girl Scouts came to the door and then I decided cake was a much wiser choice. It was a pretty sweet gig until my religion-teaching mother caught on to my scheme. Now, it’s a great story to tell her sixth graders every year as Lent approaches.

These days, I’m way past giving up cookies and cake and changing my mind every week. I strive for more promising items that provide a bigger bang for my buck. When a raging pretzel addiction ruled my life in college, I gave them up for 40 days. It was borderline impossible. Last year, Adam and I decided to swear off all alcoholic beverages for Lent. It was pure torture. This year, it took some time for me to find something major to extinguish from my daily life. Once I decided on something, however, I quickly realized I had made a wise choice.

For the 40 days of Lent, I will abstain from using obscenities of any kind. I immediately knew I was onto something after explaining my choice to Adam. His reaction was priceless:

“Are you just giving up cussing at the dog or all cussing?”

Ouch. I guess I do primarily shout obscenities at the dog, though any injury or anger-inducing scenario usually invites a cussword or two. Wouldn’t you get testy when someone is vomiting on your off-white carpet? I thought so.

I have to wonder, though, how things progressed to this point. I haven’t always had such a dirty mouth, especially during my formative years, where cussing was strictly prohibited. When your mother is an English teacher (and your teacher for that matter), being polite and finding “the right words” for every occasion is a constant lesson. Being polite and having good manners was also a well-learned lesson in our home. In regards to expletives, I was taught that they are unnecessary; one can always find “better” words to use or perhaps no words at all if that plan fails. Not that my parents didn’t cuss, it was just a rarity and used in extreme conditions.

As a writer, the lesson of finding the right words is a constant. In my PR-focused world, I realize that words craft messages and feelings to the public, who forms their opinion around the things our organization does and says. I sometimes feel like a broken record, reminding my co-workers that life isn’t about what you say; it’s how you say it. Words are powerful tools and when you get them wrong, you cannot take them back. You have but one chance to show who and what you are, and what you say becomes the primary focus.

To me, writing is like painting a beautiful picture, ensuring the perfect blend of colors and textures accompany each masterpiece. Describing something so beautifully and carefully each time I sit down at my computer is like painting the Mona Lisa, regardless of the subject. Often, the subject isn’t all that wonderful or exciting—which is my favorite part.

I love both hearing and telling stories, which is what writing is truly all about. Why then, I wonder, do I have such a dirty mouth when it comes to the spoken word? As a general observation, when others curse it generally brings my perception of them back to a realistic standard. You can find someone truly charming and perceive them as quite elegant, only to hear them utter an obscenity and realize they’re just human. Or, they aren’t afraid to let others see them sweat. You know that pang of horror you feel when you realize you forgot something or made a major mistake? I sometimes feel that when I hear someone I hold in high regard utter something vile. Cursing—it’s the great equalizer.

Cussing should be like eating a decadent dessert—only in moderation and on special occasions, like your birthday. As for me, I’m realizing that inserting obscenities is a direct result of laziness and lack of consciousness. It’s become a part of me, part of how I express myself when I choose to not let my fabulous shoes do the talking for me. I think we could all stand to be more conscious about everything we do, from cursing to eating dinner and talking to others. Sure, it’s a lot more effort. But it also makes our lives much more meaningful. Don’t agree? Well, then you can just shove it up your…oops.