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A few Wednesdays ago was Ash Wednesday, the first day of Lent. As a general rule, this is a time of deep reflection, piety and servitude. Or, giving up cookies and everything that is great about the top portion of the food pyramid.

Growing up, for me it was a time to give up something that I really liked until I had that thing in front of me. Then, I’d find something else to give up. I’d proclaim I was giving up cookies until the Girl Scouts came to the door and then I decided cake was a much wiser choice. It was a pretty sweet gig until my religion-teaching mother caught on to my scheme. Now, it’s a great story to tell her sixth graders every year as Lent approaches.

These days, I’m way past giving up cookies and cake and changing my mind every week. I strive for more promising items that provide a bigger bang for my buck. When a raging pretzel addiction ruled my life in college, I gave them up for 40 days. It was borderline impossible. Last year, Adam and I decided to swear off all alcoholic beverages for Lent. It was pure torture. This year, it took some time for me to find something major to extinguish from my daily life. Once I decided on something, however, I quickly realized I had made a wise choice.

For the 40 days of Lent, I will abstain from using obscenities of any kind. I immediately knew I was onto something after explaining my choice to Adam. His reaction was priceless:

“Are you just giving up cussing at the dog or all cussing?”

Ouch. I guess I do primarily shout obscenities at the dog, though any injury or anger-inducing scenario usually invites a cussword or two. Wouldn’t you get testy when someone is vomiting on your off-white carpet? I thought so.

I have to wonder, though, how things progressed to this point. I haven’t always had such a dirty mouth, especially during my formative years, where cussing was strictly prohibited. When your mother is an English teacher (and your teacher for that matter), being polite and finding “the right words” for every occasion is a constant lesson. Being polite and having good manners was also a well-learned lesson in our home. In regards to expletives, I was taught that they are unnecessary; one can always find “better” words to use or perhaps no words at all if that plan fails. Not that my parents didn’t cuss, it was just a rarity and used in extreme conditions.

As a writer, the lesson of finding the right words is a constant. In my PR-focused world, I realize that words craft messages and feelings to the public, who forms their opinion around the things our organization does and says. I sometimes feel like a broken record, reminding my co-workers that life isn’t about what you say; it’s how you say it. Words are powerful tools and when you get them wrong, you cannot take them back. You have but one chance to show who and what you are, and what you say becomes the primary focus.

To me, writing is like painting a beautiful picture, ensuring the perfect blend of colors and textures accompany each masterpiece. Describing something so beautifully and carefully each time I sit down at my computer is like painting the Mona Lisa, regardless of the subject. Often, the subject isn’t all that wonderful or exciting—which is my favorite part.

I love both hearing and telling stories, which is what writing is truly all about. Why then, I wonder, do I have such a dirty mouth when it comes to the spoken word? As a general observation, when others curse it generally brings my perception of them back to a realistic standard. You can find someone truly charming and perceive them as quite elegant, only to hear them utter an obscenity and realize they’re just human. Or, they aren’t afraid to let others see them sweat. You know that pang of horror you feel when you realize you forgot something or made a major mistake? I sometimes feel that when I hear someone I hold in high regard utter something vile. Cursing—it’s the great equalizer.

Cussing should be like eating a decadent dessert—only in moderation and on special occasions, like your birthday. As for me, I’m realizing that inserting obscenities is a direct result of laziness and lack of consciousness. It’s become a part of me, part of how I express myself when I choose to not let my fabulous shoes do the talking for me. I think we could all stand to be more conscious about everything we do, from cursing to eating dinner and talking to others. Sure, it’s a lot more effort. But it also makes our lives much more meaningful. Don’t agree? Well, then you can just shove it up your…oops.