Tomorrow is Ash Wednesday, which marks the beginning of Lent. Every year, this Holy Day rolls around and I find myself scrambling to find something to live without for the next 40 days. Usually, I strive to make things as excruciating for myself as possible. You know, because that’s what Jesus wants.
A few years ago, I gave up alcohol. It was torture and made everyone think I was pregnant. Annoying. Before that, I gave up my much-beloved pretzel addiction. It brought tears to my eyes—less salty than normal due to the lack of salt intake, natch. I honestly have no idea what I gave up for Lent last year; it was that memorable.
As a child, however, I spent most of the Lenten season jumping from one resolution to the next. I’d give up desserts until one was in front of me, quickly changing to something else to give up instead. I probably lasted 3 days, tops. Looking back, I realize that it was just easier to act like I was doing without something than actually doing without it. I do that a lot; working so hard to act like I’m doing something, instead of trying just a little less to actually do it instead.
That got me to thinking about all the things I could change about myself, not give up, over the next 40 days. In contrast, not eating or drinking something seems so inconsequential. So, for the sake of Type A decision making: I have compiled a list of my negative qualities up on the chopping block for Lent.
My least flattering attributes
Bitter sarcasm
Rash decision making
Clumsiness
Compulsive shopping
Harsh, constant judgment of others
Excessive reality show viewing
Excessive question asking
Referring to myself as “mommy” in reference to the dog
Wearing the most inappropriate shoes possible at all times
Laughing uncontrollably in uncomfortable social situations
Paralyzing fear of confrontation
Taking 2 hours to get ready for anything
Building mountains out of mole hills
Overanalyzing everything
Worrying about things I cannot control
Crying about things I cannot control
Crying over spilled milk
Feeling annoyance for people who read while using the bathroom
Trying to please everyone
Inability to keep plants alive
Trying on numerous outfits before leaving the house
Rage-o-holic behavior behind the wheel of a car
While all of these things are stupid and I’m sure annoying for anyone who spends roughly 5 minutes in my presence, I couldn’t possibly rid myself of all these demons in 40 days. Plus, let’s be honest: the fact that I think it’s really dumb that you read a book while pooping is never going to change. Not even I can touch that one, people.
OK, so let's get to my point: I'm giving up something I don't like about myself for 40 days in a feeble attempt to, in some way, become a better person. I'm going to attempt to rid my life of compulsive shopping, overanalyzing everything and trying to please everyone.
Everybody OK with that?
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1 comment:
You are too funny. Growing up our priest said it isn't giving something up- it is making a sacrafic. Sacrafic your time to a habitat house, soup kitchen or other. It is supposed to be bettering you. :o)
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